


little things

by Anonymous



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Age Differences, Age Regression/De-Aging, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Little Space, M/M, Making Out, side johnten, side lumark, thumb sucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:35:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28126221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Adulting and little space do not go hand-in-hand. That's unless you have a caregiver like Taeyong.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun & Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 8
Kudos: 64
Collections: anonymous





	little things

**Author's Note:**

> yes, little things as in the 1D song.
> 
> also, college jaehyun and aged-up taeyong.

“Doyoung-hyung! I really don’t want to attend the ball,” Jaehyun whined into the receiver. It’s not a side he liked to show but they literally grew up together so it was easy to be like that. 

Doyoung chucked. “Hey! Stop whining - you know it’s almost impossible to weasel out of this one when Auntie had a hand in planning it.” 

“I just hate wearing suits when I move out into the dorms to wear cozy hoodies,” Jaehyun fired back.

“Right, you don’t have a choice so see you next weekend then! Lunch break is ending soon. I know it’s midterms soon, don’t overwork yourself alright,” the last line barely whispers in the receiver.

Jaehyun clicks his phone shut and lays in his bed. His door is ajar for anticipated and surprise visits alike. His walls are littered with a few sports posters and a polaroid of him and Doyoung taken 2 years back, when the older was but a few blocks away. Besides that, his room is kept in pristine condition - the way his mother likes it back at home. His house was devoid of excessive decorations, only with the exception of the finest and exuberant paintings - with it an outrageous price that makes even Jaehyun’s eyes enlarge. Within the dorms, in a living arrangement with absolutely no privacy, he has made a temporary home.

There are phases and days that Jaehyun closes those doors, even to the closest of friends. Those times are usually nearing exam seasons, so excuses come easily with his friends also sleep deprived. When he distances himself from people, it’s easier to be little. There is no room for guilt and this space is void of expectations. His body automatically curls into a ball to be as small as he feels. During these periods of isolation, he only functions in two states. One, he works himself to the bone with bloodshot eyes, on his fourth cup of coffee of the day. Two, he lays still in his bed. When that happens, he floats in and out of consciousness and occasionally finds himself sucking on his thumb.

He jolts out of his bed, his clothes wrinkled like his sheets. Grabbing his towel, he beelines for the showers down the hallway and prays he does not bump into anyone. He doesn't think he can handle it in his weird headspace. He stands under the piping hot streams and scrubs until he can’t distinguish if his skin is red and tender from the heat or his incessant scrubbing. The unexplainable feeling of dread inside does not disappear. He hopes that he can pick up his pieces. 

_He doesn’t._

Jaehyun does well enough for his exams despite needing to shave revision time to regress. He never meant to do it, but it always happens. Before he can exhale a sigh of relief, he is reminded of the projects and essays he has been neglecting in lieu of his midterms. The tension never leaves his body.

❁ 

It’s a bright Saturday afternoon when he caught up with Doyoung. They have decided to celebrate the end of Jaehyun’s midterms with a movie marathon sleepover before the ball tomorrow.

Jaehyun reaches the cafe 20 minutes late, panting for air and trying to huff out an apology. “Sorry! Hyung, I overslept.” _That is an oversimplified version of how he found himself on the opposite side of the bed, crazier bed hair than usual, with his thumb in his mouth. Again._

“It’s fine. I went ahead and ordered for us already but you can pick out a drink,” Doyoung regarded him carefully, with more concern in his eyes than usual.

“Hyung.. Why are you staring at me like that?” Jaehyun nervously chuckles, afraid that he could actually read minds, because he always seems to understand him.

The older man merely sighs. “Jaehyun, Have you been sleeping?”

Jaehyun’s fingers betrayed him when they subconsciously touched his eye bags. “I couldn’t sleep last night because I was too tense after working on my projects, but I have been sleeping - I swear!”

Doyoung gives him a pointed stare and makes a non-committal sound. After that, the tension between them dissipates and conversation flows easily. Banter is thrown back and forth as it always has been since they were younger. Jaehyun finds himself smiling the most he had in the past two weeks and he considers for a moment whether he should confide in Doyoung. The mood is light and he decides against it.

Soon, the setting sunset paints the quaint little store in hues of orange and pinks that makes the heart go warm and fuzzy. Doyoung foots the bill against his protests. As a revenge, he pays for their cab before the older even gets his wallet out and he makes it a point to make ugly faces at the older.

They watch movies until Doyoung deems himself too old for the college sleep cycle - which is basically little to no sleep. Jaehyun takes the couch. Doyoung would no doubt offer his bed if he asked but Doyoung is a grandpa-at-heart that loves his bed. He settles into the nest of fuzzy blankets, spare pillows and waits for Doyoung to count to 3 before lights out.

In the absence of the light, Jaehyun fully relaxes and his grip around the penguin plushie softens. He feels the warm pulsing of his core, the push and pull of the light and the dark like the tides. The glow pulses and grows until he fades into nothing and he feels weightless like the air. The speed of light is exponential, overwhelming his senses. His eyes cannot stop leaking even if there is no sadness in his heart. 

Nothing.

❁

Doyoung finds Jaehyun in a complex tangled mess in his blankets the next morning. _Did he mention, on the ground?_ That ought to give him the worst sores later. Out of his innate protectiveness over said boy, he transferred him back onto the sofa. The fuzzy quilt unveiled to reveal a peaceful looking brunette. Despite the dried tear tracks on his cheeks, the way Jaehyun softly sucked his thumb was equal parts adorable and heart wrenching.

Doyoung is no stranger to the idea that Jaehyun could be a little. It is evident in the way the latter whines more than usual and the way the younger relies on him to take charge of everything outside school. He did not think too much about it at first; after all, he's used to playing the big brother figure since they were kids. If the younger had not confided in Doyoung, it is likely that no one else knows. He can only attempt to imagine how alienating and lonely it is to have such a huge part of his identity that begs for attention and care to be shoved away. 

The younger joustles in his sleep and he rubs his sleepy red rimmed eyes. When he looks up at him, his eyes are glazed over and he seems to be trapped in between the states of consciousness. He is not sure whether Jaehyun is still here with him. Before he can conjure something to say, the younger sits up and stretches out his arms and his eyes fixated expectantly on him.

“You want a hug?” 

Jaehyun responded with a soft nod. 

Doyoung shifted closer to the couch, his knees touching Jaehyun’s as the younger wraps his arms around his middle. It's an awfully awkward hugging position to be in, with how the younger is still sitting cross legged. He is not big on physical touch and so is Jaehyun, normally, with the exception of the occasional greeting side hug. To divert his attention, he focuses on running his fingers through the tuff of brown hair below him. He works through the kinks in his dry, matted hair softly which seem to please the little, who nuzzles his face onto his shirt and tightens his hold. His roots are growing out, the original black a huge contrast against the warm brown he is used to seeing.

After a few minutes of hugging that seemed like eternity, Doyoung moves to run a bath for the brunette that remains unmoving on his couch. He makes sure the water is not too hot and pumps in musky shower gel into the bathtub. When he’s out, there are only scribbles on the back of an envelope that read, _‘Thank you hyung, sorry to trouble you. I’ll head back first.’._

Doyoung sighs. Jaehyun must have forgotten the ball tonight in the midst of his identity crisis and panicking. He takes upon himself to call the younger’s mother with a carefully curated story and a convincing tone that _“Yes, he is very ill”_ and _“Yes, he really wanted to go and was pouting before he knocked out”_ just to placate her.

❁

The rigour of the weeks leading up to finals sweeps Jaehyun away and he can’t even say he is still consciously ignoring the older. The angry red bubble on the message icon screams that he has 27 unread messages. It mocks him in a way that converts his previous embarrassment into anger, mostly at himself. Anger that his body has betrayed him in front of Doyoung. Now he can’t even talk to his closest friend because it just reminds him of the monster under his own skin.

He only checks his message when Lucas down the hall chides him for not replying when he had a ‘life and death’ crisis from getting caught when sneaking alcohol into campus. He said he really needed Jaehyun’s pretty face to charm and distract the guard.

He thought that there would have been more messages from Doyoung but there is only one. Well, two. One very long message about age regression psychology papers and how Jaehyun should consider getting a caregiver. As if Jaehyun hasn’t done his fair share of frantic google-ing. The other one is a contact number.

 _Lee Taeyong._ The name sounds familiar at the tip of his tongue, but he can’t place his hand on exactly where he has heard it. His finger hovers over the delete button, but he locks his screen instead.

It takes him a whole week of moping around and psyching himself up to shoot Taeyong a simple, ‘Hello, I am Jaehyun and Doyoung gave me your contact?’. A reply comes in seconds after, as if the person on the line has been waiting for his message. 

❁

Jaehyun has been sitting alone in the Thai restaurant for the past 10 mins. The place is as crowded as it can get on a weekday morning and for that, Jaehyun is thankful. He doesn't think he can talk openly about regression with so many nosy ears around.

The nerves have been eating him up alive and he feels hollowed out. His hands are twitching to reach out to his phone just to keyboard smash into his chat with Doyoung. Taeyong is only due to arrive in 10 minutes. At least he’s on talking terms with Doyoung again. 

The information that he got from him is that Taeyong is 5 years older than himself and his co-worker’s best friend. From the past week they have been texting, he also learnt that he is apparently also good with kids because he used to volunteer in children’s homes and plays nanny for his friends’ children sometimes. What Doyoung did not tell him was that said guy is the human embodiment of human marshmallow. 

Taeyong was dressed in an oversized tan cashmere sweater, paired with black jeans that accentuated his tiny waist. His hair was white like snow and paired with light makeup, like an anime character. He immediately made friendly conversation with the store owner in thai. It was ebbed and rough around the edges but he finds that he likes that voice very much.

“Hey Baby,” Taeyong smiles as he settles down onto the seat opposite Jaehyun.

The axis of Jaehyun’s world spins and he feels like he is dying. I _mean, who uses pet names on the first meeting?_

“Hello Taeyong..?” Jaehyun stumbles over the hornofics.

“You can call me hyung for now. Unless you want to call me something else?” his raising in curiosity but his friendly smile remains.

Jaehyun feels his face heats up and he wants to clear the air before it suffocates, “Err.. I won’t call you daddy. If that’s what you are saying.”

Taeyong laughs so hard that he is wheezing and even though it is not exactly pretty, it makes the tension dissipate and he is joining Taeyong in no time.

Jaehyun learns over just an hour that Taeyong is straightforward in the best way ever. He doesn’t tiptoe around this unique need of his and it makes him feel on top of the world. Like he doesn’t have to be ashamed of feeling little. Taeyong inquiries about everything, like a studious student taking notes in class. 

Jaehyun finds that he likes the attention but he also wants to know what are the thoughts Taeyong has when his eyes light up like stars. He is already obsessed with the glint in Taeyong’s eyes before he knows it. He also silently takes notes about Taeyong’s quirky antics - like the weird noises he makes when he has a revelation and his tiny body jiggles when he is excited.

Once Taeyong learns that Jaehyun doesn’t own any plushies, he deems it a ‘catastrophic event’ and drives both of them to the nearest toy store. The messy store is decked out with bright, saturated colours with loud marketing campaigns for toys. He ignores them and makes a beeline straight to the soft toy section and runs his fingers along the row of animal friends. He feels his inner child squeal with delight.

“Go pick one that you like!” Taeyong casually instructed.

It feels like he stays there forever because he wants all of them, as impractical as it sounds. The devil’s advocate encourages this but the side that wants to please his caregiver chides himself for being selfish. It wins over and he settles on a Mickey Mouse plush. 

Jaehyun feels shy to ask, so he tugs on Taeyong’s shirt and puts on his best puppy dog eyes to get the point across.

“Baby wants Mickey? You sure?”, Taeyong coos.

Jaehyun nods resolutely and that’s all it takes for Taeyong to hold the other hand of Mickey to check out. He finds himself disappointed that it wasn’t his hand that the older was holding and his face contorts into a pout.

Taeyong realises and asks him what’s wrong but he refuses to admit that he was jealous of an inanimate object. Taeyong raises a brow when he shakes his head but does nothing. Only when Jaehyun is tickled to death back in Taeyong’s car does he learn to tread carefully in the presence of a caregiver.

Jaehyun tries hard to not smile when Taeyong places his tiny but strong and calloused hands on top of him. He makes sure to whine when the older pulls away to navigate the steering wheel.

❁

Even after a few days after, Jaehyun still smiles whenever he sees Mickey snuggled underneath his bedsheets. Before he gives into the temptation to cuddle Mickey, there was a knock on his door despite it being half open like always.

A tuft of blonde hair sticks out and Mark stands awkwardly beside his door frame. It was almost endearing how Mark was as polite as he was at the beginning of the freshmen year.

“Hey, Jaehyun hyung.” He does an awkward half wave and Jaehyun gestures for the poor boy to sit on his bed. 

He hands Jaehyun a Hershey’s Milk Chocolate bar. Jaehyun accepts it but raises a brow out of confusion. 

“Uh, Yukhei got it for me but i - i’m trying out a vegan diet with Hyuck. So yeah.. I didn’t want to return it. I didn’t want to make him feel like I’m rejecting him”, Mark stutters out, cheeks reddening.

“Wait? He confessed?”

“Ah - I uh, hyung actually I came to you because I don’t know what to do. I thought we were just hanging out but he took me out of campus for a date then kissed my cheek and... I dunno”, Mark stares at his lap and refuses to look at Jaehyun.

Jaehyun lets him continue. “I kinda liked it .. but I’m just confused cause I’ve never seen guys that way. I mean Hyuck is my best friend and the most queer person I have ever met. I’ve seen him go through so many boyfriends. But I’ve never thought that boys were for me. I mean I’m close with Yukhei and I like him. I don’t know!. Now I can’t even go for soccer training because I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye. I’m just -” the blonde groans out of frustration.

“Hey, Mark, that’s okay. It’s okay to be confused. It’s good that you didn’t make a decision in a haste,” He pats the younger’s back - a gesture to comfort him.

“I think you have to figure out the sexuality bit first, give it some thought before you respond to Lucas. I’ll talk to him, tell him to give you some space first yeah?” 

Mark nods a few times, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears. “Thanks, hyung. I knew I could talk to you. I hope your boyfriend is kind to you? You deserve someone nice, yeah.” 

The younger continues, “I’ve never seen him around campus? He drives a really nice car though, so he must be working? What’s your boyfriend like?”

It hits him then. Taeyong was the first person that he willingly slipped in front of but he still doesn’t know his occupation. He doesn’t even know if he can call the older his boyfriend. He realises that there are so many mysteries about the older and he wants to ring the older just have him satiate his curiosity - until his encyclopedia of _Lee Tae Yong facts_ is filled up. 

Is TaeYong even his boyfriend? There are so many things that they haven’t gone over and he panics for a moment, before he remembers his advice for the younger. Who is looking at him with wide eyes in horror, probably afraid that he overstepped any boundaries.

Jaehyun replies truthfully, “Actually, that day that you saw us was our first date so I haven’t gotten a chance to ask. I’ll ask the next time though, thanks Mark.”

Mark thanks him and skirts out of his room before he can reassure him that it wasn’t a big deal.

What he does though, is ring Taeyong at the end of the day and makes him promise to bring Jaehyun for a work visit.

❁

As the car slows down, Jaehyun shifts closer towards the window to stare at the white infrastructure. The building is constructed with only straight and cold lines, towering over him. This was alike to when he was a mere child, clutching onto his mother’s hand on her museum visits. Apparently Taeyong was managing one of the largest museums in the region.

Taeyong picked him up and drove him over early on a Friday morning and promised a very rare self-guided tour. 

After the older locks his car, Jaehyun makes grabby hands to link their fingers together and keeps him close. They stay that way for the rest of the tour, the older imparting his knowledge and insight on intricately preserved and monumental artwork. He is genuinely interested as the older whispers interesting facts into his ears that makes him giggle.

It was genuinely a good time and Jaehyun finds himself disappointed that he had never paid much attention to art forms despite his mother’s huge collection back at home. He also severely underestimates how emotionally taxing and mentally draining studying pieces can be. Some of them are so abstract but pack as much context and meaning as a book. Decoding them was tiring even with Taeyong’s help.

“Baby I still have to do some work so maybe you can relax in my office before lunch?” 

Jaehyun immediately pouts at the prospect of not having Taeyong with him. Usually, he would understand the rationale and just catch up on some work. However, he is tired and by extension, extremely needy and his ability to rationalise slips away, like leaves in the wind. He tugs at Taeyong’s shirt when they reach his office, determined to not let him leave.

Taeyong’s eyes crinkle up with delight when he finds Jaehyun with the cutest pout ever, one that makes him want to kiss all over his face to make the younger’s dimples appear again. Instead, he kisses the younger’s hands and entertains his tantrum with more cooing. “What’s wrong, baby?”

The frown of the younger deepens and his lower lip quivers uncontrollably, “Jaehyun-ie doesn’t want Yong-ie to go. Please?”

Taeyong would love to indulge in his little, but there is a very important shipment coming in today for the upcoming exhibition and he was requested to oversee the process. The solution comes up instantaneously and he guides Jaehyun to sit on his swivel chair. The younger turns in the chair, clearly pleased. He digs around his drawer until he finds the colouring print-outs from a previous installation.

“Jaehyun baby, listen to me. I have some colouring pages and some pencils here. I want you to be a very good boy for me and fill them up. I’ll be back in an hour okay?”

Jaehyun whines and traps Taeyong in a bear hug from his position on the chair, his arms caging the older’s small waist. 

“Jaehyun-ie doesn’t want to be a good boy for me? And here I was thinking that I would reward my good boy,” Taeyong pretends to contemplate against it for good measure.

The younger takes up the bait, keen and scrambles away to work feverently on his to-be masterpiece.

Near the one hour mark, Jaehyun becomes ansty while waiting for Taeyong. Screw delayed gratification. He leans against the door, with his ears plastered onto the dark oak, hoping to hear the telltale signs of his caregiver returning.

The click clack sound of Taeyong’s leather shoes resonates in the hallway in increasing volume and stops. He rushes to get the door, to surprise the older. The door, however, opens to the face of a stranger. He feels like a deer caught in the headlights with how close his face is to the mysterious man. 

The black hair male is dressed in a stuffy, plain suit which was obviously tailor-made with how well it fits him, the hem ending at the right lengths. They look rather similar to Doyoung’s work attire, however, what catches his eyes are the black leather shoes have the same accents as Taeyong’s but instead finished with a pointed toe design. The mysterious man has a mischievous glint in his eyes and his lips turn up to form a catlike grin as he checks Jaehyun out. Okay, now he feels more like a mouse rather than a deer. 

Thankfully before the male can interrogate Jaehyun, Taeyong comes back and asks him to stop terrorising the younger. Jaehyun runs to hide behind the older, which was futile because he was taller than both of them.

Taeyong introduces them and ends up driving the three of them to lunch after Ten whined about how he travelled _all that way_ to find Taeyong. The victorious smirk he directed to Jaehyun when Taeyong finally relented was terrifying. 

Ten was precise in terms of the timing when he strikes, like a predator waiting for the prey to fall in his trap before he pounces. When Taeyong moves away to order for them, Ten asks, “Hey Jaehyun. What does Doyoung mean to you? He has a photo of you both on his desk?” _Oh, so he was the colleague that Doyoung mentioned about. Taeyong’s best friend._

“Uh - he’s my childhood friend and also older brother? Our parents were friends and we grew up together in the same schools until he graduated.”

Ten whistles, “Interesting. Hmm, same with Taeyong and I. When I moved here, I couldn’t speak any korean and the kids are a nightmare. They bully whoever is different from them and can’t fight back. Taeyong looked as baby face as he does now, but let me tell you, he’s a bad bitch! He landed a good punch and got into quite a bit of trouble for me.”

“You are in good hands,” the older adds as an afterthought.

Before he can respond that _he knows_ , Taeyong returns to their table and the rest of the afternoon was spent with Ten spilling all of Taeyong’s embarrassing stories from elementary school to college. He was spent, but pleased when the older got him ice-cream as a reward.

❁

Their dates are mostly spent in Taeyong’s house aside from the occasional dinners. It is a humble abode for two. At least it was, until Ten moved away to stay with his boyfriend, Johnny. Taeyong just could not find it in him to move even though he could afford to. It was too precious and held too many memories.

It had a nice office space that used to belong to Ten, but with Jaehyun’s notes sprawling all over the desk, it might as well have been his. Jaehyun has taken a liking to studying here where his favourite person is just a room away. 

Beside the office space, there was a painting room for Taeyong. It was a rather narrow room with just enough room for a chair and storage for his equipment. It was the place that he holed up in during his college years, where he spent sleepless nights trying to finish his assignment. He rarely uses it after he’s started working but it was a nice space to keep for when inspiration strikes. Since there is a window facing away from the door, it has become Taeyong’s quiet space to relax now.

There were two bedrooms. The reason? “I love him but I still need my space. Sometimes Taeyong is so annoying when he’s breathing down my neck!” Ten’s words, not his. However, Ten’s room has long been converted to a guest room. Jaehyun never sleeps here when he stays over though.

Moving next door, Taeyong’s room was full with colours that exhibited his personality. The mismatched colours somehow work together to form a coherent whole rather than chaotic parts - like a mosaic. He often likes to customize his clothing with scribbles and illustrations which transcribes to his room decor style as well. The designs were loud, but his room was still kept in a clean and pristine condition. He later realised that Taeyong’s obsessiveness with keeping things in an orderly manner is almost as bad as Doyoung’s.

His favourite thing about Taeyong’s room wasn’t even the fact that his colourful room felt more like home than his plain dorm room, void of colour. It wasn’t the fact that he had so many plants that somehow made him feel alive. (He would get some for his room but he has managed to kill every single plant he had bought) It was the fact that somehow the 27 year old man has managed to own more soft toys than him. His favourite activity was to jump onto the bed, face first into all the soft toys and bury himself under the duvet. It was the perfect place for afternoon naps when he was stressed out and very effective in putting him into little space. Taeyong would always coax him out of his nest with tickles and promises of food and snacks after he deemed that the little had napped enough. 

It was one time. That time that sleepyhead Jaehyun refused to get out of bed and his caregiver put in more effort than usual to tickle him awake. 

“Stawp! Pwease! Jaehyun-ie can’t breathe? Pwease mommy?” He cried out, effectively snapping Taeyong out of his ‘Tickle Jaehyun’ mode. 

“Baby, stay that again?”

“Mommy?” The little’s eyes are full of tears from the tickle fight.

Taeyong leaned in and kissed Jaehyun on the cheek, then repeated for the other one. He slapped him playfully on the bum to get the sleepyhead up.

Later that night, they were getting ready for bed. Jaehyun was still mildly embarrassed that he called Taeyong _that_ , but his curiosity outweighed his sheer embarrassment.

“Can I ask you something?”

The older hummed in agreement, his hands still combing through his hair. He presses closer into the older’s hands in encouragement.

“How come you let me call you Mommy but you are so against the pet name Daddy when we first met?” 

The older stops his handiwork and Jaehyun glares at the older from his lap as a silent cry for him to continue. He continues massaging the younger’s scalps immediately but hesitates before responding. 

“Ten calls his boyfriend daddy when they have sex and I refuse to think about that when I am pampering my baby boy.” 

❁

It was another day at Taeyong’s apartment - a warm afternoon. The sun rays stream in through the older’s thin beige curtain, casting a warm glow in the living room. Jaehyun lays on the couch and watches with amazement as the light reflects off the mirror to form bursts of colours on the wall. The sparkles look like the stars in the galaxy, sparkling. All the light and the stars disappear when a cloud passes but they reappear.

Recently he has been getting better at regressing, usually at the comfort of his caregiver’s house. After being small, he usually feels better and less on edge. He doesn’t feel that small anymore but it’s still comforting to cuddle one of Taeyong’s many stuffies. It’s easier to forget all of his burdens for a while and easier to relax. 

Taeyong gave him the duplicate keys so he has been going over to the elder's house frequently, even when the older is not home. He’s rarely back at his dorm and his friends complain, especially Lucas but Mark just gives him a knowing smile. 

His head is kind of hazy, which happens when he is becoming big again. He returns back to complete his work and get some studying done so that when Taeyong returns from work, he can spend all of his energy annoying the older. 

The older returns from work with groceries, a kiss to Jaehyun’s forehead and a promise to make dinner. He loves it when Taeyong gives him forehead kisses cause he feels like he’s been good. He also loves the fact that the older has to tiptoe to reach his forehead and he clings on to Jaehyun’s biceps for balance which brings them so close.

Jaehyun helps to cut the vegetables when the older is washing up. However, for the rest of the night he stays true to his words and back hugs the older when he cooks, kissing his neck to distract him. The older glares at Jaehyun sternly to put him into his place but the flush on the older’s face gave him away. Jaehyun turns Taeyong fully around easily and turns off the gas behind the older’s back. He reaches forward and cups the older’s face, a silent question for permission and the older closes his eyes in anticipation. When their lips meet, Jaehyun’s head spins. The older lips are soft from his meticulous routine of applying lip oils and he almost feels sorry for his chapped lips. Once Jaehyun parts his lips, the flip switches. Taeyong places his hands under Jaehyun’s and he jumps onto the older for a koala hug. He forgets how strong his skinny man is sometimes. When the back of his knees hit the couch, their mouths slot together again. Their tongues slide against each other, the sound loud and wet. Jaehyun turns putty on the couch with Taeyong on his lap, bracketing him with his legs. His hands find their way to Taeyong’s hips but before they can map out the rest of his skin, Taeyong stops. The groan that Jaehyun lets out is extremely embarrassing but his head is so fuzzy with the want and need for the older in ways that he’s never thought before.

“Hey, we should slow down a bit, okay?,” Taeyong strokes his cheeks lovingly but his eyes still dark with desire.

Laying half on top of each other, both of them take a while for their breathing to even out. The room is silent but Jaehyun’s thoughts are loud and he decides it’s now or never.

"I know when we met, I really needed you to take care of me. But hyung, I really want to take care of you too and be there for you. What I am saying is that .. other than being your good boy, I also want to be your boyfriend too. If you would let me,” he looks up slowly. Confessing was never his forte, words were hard to come by.

Taeyong’s eyes were shiny, but he moved closer and placed their forehead together and looked straight into his eyes. Jaehyun sees the fire burning inside and he knows the answer when it comes. 

“Yes, I would love to.”

❁

It’s reading week already and that means Jaehyun is camping in the 24/7 library. There’s only so much you can cramp into your brain before you hit the saturation point. He decides to retire earlier that night - by his standards, 11PM is early.

Jaehyun still had a productive day and nailed down half of his module content so he found himself in a good mood, humming and swinging his dorm keys around his finger. The route he took was a shortcut, barely lit by street lamps. If he stares hard enough, he can map out the stars in the night sky.

He was ready to knock out without washing up (much to Doyoung’s dismay) but before he could dash into his room, he accidentally kicked a box by his door frame. The brown box was non-descriptive, with his mailing details but not much to indicate it’s content. The rattling sounds from shaking the box did not help him deduce anything. There was a post-it note stuck under the box though.

_Hi hyung!_

_I saw the delivery guy at the lobby and he asked for you so I collected it for you! All the best for finals hyung._

_Peace,_

_Mark_

He was really glad that he locked the door before he opened the package because it turned out to be something for his little space. A baby blue and another light pink pacifier.

There’s only one person that comes to mind, so he dialled for him straight.

“Hey baby,” the voice on the other side sounded rough, like he was disturbed from a deep slumber. He probably had. Taeyong turned in early whenever he could, something about old age.

“Hey! I got the package! Can I use them now? Pwease,” his excitement was evident as he started using baby speech.

“Hmm? Let me see if you have been a good boy? Can you turn on the video call for Mommy?” 

Jaehyun did as he was told, eager to start using the pacifier. He needed this so badly to unwind.

“How come baby is still in his jeans? Jaehyun-ie hasn't washed up,” his tone rising towards the end. Jaehyun braces himself for nagging.

“Baby tired... Just want to sleep,” he pouts and his eyes start to water. He doesn’t think he can keep up with speech for much longer.

“At least change into your pajamas, for me?” Taeyong adds the last part a beat later.

In under a minute, clad in pajamas, Jaehyun was tucked under his sheets as instructed sucking softly on his pacifier, hugging his plushies. Before Taeyong could finish his bedtime story, the little fell asleep from the exhaustion of the day and the sweet lull of the older's voices. He doesn’t realise that Taeyong took a million screenshots.

The next morning, he received screenshots of himself and coddling from Doyoung. He realised that the 3 adults had a group chat and half of the conversations were about him.

❁

Jaehyun exits the examination halls, surrounded by the excited buzz from finals _finally_ ending. _Plans thrown around everywhere._ He clutches onto the strap of his sling bag harder and hunches over as he tries to avoid everyone in the dash across campus.

Back to his room littered with takeout bags and unwashed cups. He ignores them as he grabs his clothes and fits them into his luggage. He really doesn’t have much clothes here anymore since he stays at Taeyong’s more than his own. Half of his luggage is still empty, so his eyes dart around in an effort to search for any missing items. _Ah, his Mickey!_

Jaehyun gathers all of the items that he deems unimportant for his short trip and hands them over in a box to Mark. His sports posters haphazardly rolled and secured, a few textbooks and a pair of round, black ears peeking out of the box. 

He books an Uber in hopes of reaching the train station in time and a message obscures his screen.

MUM

_Jaehyun, see you soon._

_Mom_

Jaehyun watches the shadows of the passing cities shifting as the train accelerates. The reflection of the sun on the river shimmers. He pulls the curtain shut.

Summer was a whisper of pinky promises, promises of escapades to cafes tucked in between stores - hidden from the unsuspecting. It was supposed to be his first summer with Taeyong, the first time they had plans for proper dates other than lazing around in Taeyong’s room, which was already great. Jaehyun pouts at the memory of the older. 

He shoots the older a message of apology again before he tries to get some shut eye. He really needs it.

❁

“Hey, Jung Jae Hyun. You have been away for so long so entertain you poor mother, will you?” 

Jaehyun’s world shifts back to focus, for a moment. He smiles at his mother in the way that makes his mother’s smile lines accentuate, dimples mirroring his own. He tells her about the pieces he has studied during his prior museum visits, repeating little art facts that Taeyong mummers when he’s combing through his hair. He doesn’t tell her how he had learnt of them. The man that tucks him into bed, whose voice he can no longer sleep without.

Being back home was surprisingly nice for once. The art pieces in the hallways have offered some companionship when he isn’t roped into many activities that his mother has planned. His mother was ruthlessly ambitious and packed up their schedule. He definitely inherited his competitive streak from her. 

The piece that captures his attention is hung right in front of one of the guest rooms. It evokes an unexplainable longing in him despite how he wasn’t able to describe it. The first impression is that it was carelessly painted, large splatters of teal greens on top, a dark, muted blue. The layer underneath a deep purple, pulsing like blood in his veins. The drawing is so ambiguous and abstract, it promises nothing to explain its existence. It merely exists. 

He takes a photo, in hopes of asking Taeyong later. He loves to listen to the older unveil the meaning layer by layer. It’s like watching a timelapse of the painting process but reversed, stripping the work to its core.

❁

Jaehyun really should not complain. It’s been a week back home (it feels like forever) and it’s the first time that he had to wear a suit in months. Given how much his mother loves hosting parties, he should have been used to it by now. The jet black suit had a low V neck, the material slightly shiny but very uncomfortable without an undershirt.

He takes advantage of having his hair done professionally, gelled back, and takes many photos. A nonchalant one that emphasises his sharp features for his Instagram and another one showing his dimpled smile for Taeyong. 

**[markeulee]** : OO Jaehyun hyung !! wowow u look like the BOSS of a gang

 **[markeulee]** : like yo! Don’t mess with my daughter

**Doie-Hyung**

Wow auntie really made you wear that :0 

**Yong-ie**

What is this? My cute handsome baby? 

We are kinda matching today :>

[image attached]

The older was dressed in a conventional 3 piece, without the tie. He played up the rather plain look with his freshly dyed purple hair, his hair tousled in a way that has Ten’s touch. “A little wet,” he would tease with an obnoxious wink. 

He saves it before he leaves the comfort of his room, grabbing a wine on the way to the ballroom. The undistinguishable noises slowly turning into snippets of conversations in bolsterious gusto and hushed murmurs alike. With a turn of a corner, he sees the glittering crystal chandelier, a reminder of the role he is destined to play for life. For the rest of the night, he is Prince Charming with a dazzling smile tattooed on his face, right beside his mother. He engages when appropriate and drifts off when it is not necessary.

“Jaehyun dear, there’s someone I would like to introduce to you. _You’ve been terribly distracted_ ,” the last part uttered, barely a whisper with the music and loud chattering. 

It was like a snap, a eureka moment after you have mulled over a question for _long_. 

He spots a tuft of purple over the crowd of guests. It is by instinct that he moves towards the purple, attracted like the opposite poles of a magnet. His mother follows beside him, seemingly moving in the same direction but he can’t seem to care. The counterpart of Mr. Purple Hair, with black hair in the exact same styling is already looking at him, his mischievous glint still frightening to him. He nudges the former male. The latter looks away from whoever he is talking to and Jaehyun finds himself staring into his warm, doe eyes. In the warm eyes that he has learnt to call home. He closes in and cages him with his arm and kisses him before he can stop himself. The older lips are warm and slightly sweet from whatever he’s been drinking. He elevates, higher than any alcohol could make him feel then plunges right into the deep purple.

“Hey,” Taeyong’s voice husky and deep, his lips red and puffy.

His eyes aren't meeting Jaehyun’s gaze though, directed slightly behind him. He makes the mistake of turning to meet face first with his mother. She appears to be poised but relaxed, not a hair out of line. However, Jaehyun being her son sees the lingering shock evident in her eyes which reads _‘You have so much explaining to do’._

His mother greets Taeyong slightly more enthusiastically than she does with the rest of the guests. Jaehyun learns that Taeyong is the one who got all the paintings for her mother in the past few years. _That’s why his name is so familiar - she probably has mentioned it when Jaehyun was fake listening_. Jaehyun hates to admit this, but Taeyong has absolutely charmed his mother. There are few people that could keep up with her mother’s antiques, for she was the life of the party but also causes fights to break out solely with her words alone. Her clock is always running faster than others and interacting with her demands speed and his utmost attention. However, Taeyong has always been observant and quick-witted, but kind enough to soften his words when basically forcing him to talk about his feelings.

He has an odd feeling of uneasiness at how his mother hasn’t interrogated Taeyong about their relationship yet. There’s also another feeling bubbling down his chest, threatening to spill over. There’s a tiny voice in his head that screams, ‘ _How dare mum hide Taeyong for so long! Jaehyun could have met Yong-ie years before!’_ He tries to rationalise it, that even if they met before, they probably would not have gotten together because of the age gap. It’s good that his mum likes Taeyong - they practically already got the seal of approval before they started dating. 

_Wait, did Taeyong know him before they met?_

_Did Doyoung know that Taeyong knows his mum?_

The warm hand that was placed on his back brings him back to the present, before he can let his thoughts run wild. He looks at Taeyong to see his slit brow raised, a silent question of ‘Are you okay?’. He looks back and hopes that his eyes show that he is all Gucci, but Taeyong still cuts the conversation short, with the excuse that he’s exhausted from the long trip. That’s all the warning he gets before Taeyong is speed walking back to his room, their fingers interlaced.

Jaehyun catches a glimpse of the blurs of the teal, blue and the purple of the painting before Taeyong closes the door.

Taeyong tiptoes to kiss Jaehyun, his hands gently caging him against the door. There’s no sense of urgency. It’s different from the fervour they shared in the ballroom, being starved of each other for so long. It’s a kiss that is slow, not even sensual. He opens his mouth to let Taeyong explore, like how he has always shown all the hidden parts of him to the older. _It’s a kiss that says, It’s okay. We have all the time in the world._

“Did you know,” Jaehyun asks when they were laying in the dark, his heart finally calmer.

“Know what?” The older hums, his eyes still closed.

He meant to ask him if he knew that Jaehyun would be here at the party, why he hadn't said anything if he knew his mom. Whether Taeyong was already in this room when he was staring at the painting in front of the room that afternoon.

“Do you know the meaning of the painting in front of your room? The teal and purple one.”

“Oh, that? It was actually my graduation piece,” he reshuffles so that he is close enough to spoon Jaehyun, such that his head is nuzzled in between the nook of his neck. It’s a strange puzzle, but the pieces match.

He continues, “Your mom came for the show and asked if I would sell it to her. I didn’t agree at first. Wait, this is a long story, let me get something,” he moves away, much to Jaehyun’s displeasure. 

“Open up,” the older places his thumb on his lips, rubbing softly.

Jaehyun does as instructed, even though he can barely make out what the elder brought to him. His night blindness is truly terrible. As the soft silicone texture touches his lips, he immediately recognises the item and pulls Taeyong’s hands closer so that he can suck on it. He immediately feels comfortable. But nothing can make him feel safer than Taeyongr, so he makes grabby hands that demand the older to cuddle him.

The older chuckles. 

“I bought another one for you on the way here because Doyoung told me that you wouldn’t bring any.”

After tucking both of them under the comforter, Taeyong continues his story of his painting and how his mother essentially recommended Taeyong his first job. Jaehyun only listens to half of it. He really didn’t mean to drift off when he asked the older to explain, but the voice of _his_ mommy is always such a lullaby - like a warm blanket on a cold night. His drifts off feeling pampered and pacified. There are still so many unanswered questions but he knows the older will be there when he wakes up.

**Author's Note:**

> for all my littles xx. you're so valid!
> 
> this is a reupload! not my favourite work but thank you eli bb for reading over for me!


End file.
